I am learning....

Good Afternoon all!
As the year comes to a close I have been thinking about what this year has meant to me. It has been a year full of transition and lots and lots of learning, some of it has been yucky and a lot of it has been joyful. Here's what I have been learning this year.

• I am learning the joy of having paint and glue all over my hands..it is so satisfying. I am learning to love art like I did as a child and not compare my art to anyone else's.  I'm also learning to call it art.
• I am learning that I get to choose..... I get to choose how I spend my time and where I put my energy.
• I am learning that the opinions of others do not define my self worth...I do. I have a lot to offer this world and a lot of people love me very very much and no one can take that away. 
• I am learning that it is not weird to think of my guitar as an extension of myself, even if I am just learning to play her.
• I am learning to seek my truth and recognize it when I see it...whether it is walking in the main square of Malaga at twilight after it has rained, spending time with family, laughing with patients, singing or creating. I am also learning that if I have an idea about where my truth might be, I need to make plans to make it happen, like Brave Girls Camp or Manitoulin Island.
• I am learning a new computer, after eight years with the same one I am struggling. It is probably b/c I don't care that much about technology anymore but I choose not to let this computer get the best of me!
• I am learning that I am funny...apparently my Mom thinks I'm hilarious, I did not know this and I'm really glad she told me.
• I am learning that I am beautiful inside and out.
• I am learning that I am brave. Way braver than I thought. Sometimes just living day to day is brave. Travelling alone is brave. Singing solo's in church is brave. Taking risks is brave.
• I am learning that simple is best...less is more ( except in and around my craft desk!). I don't need much.
• I am learning that who I am is enough. I know I'm weird and moody and stubborn but I am also creative, kind and generous and many other wonderful things. My authentic self, is my best self.

I'm really looking forward to the new year, I've learned so much this year and I can't wait to see what I will learn next year. I hope this coming year is full of blessings for you...thank you soooo much stopping by.

Extra Christams money?? WHAT??

Let me first start this post by saying I love Christmas....I love it, I love it, I love it......like a lot. Let me also say that I hate change...hate it, hate it, hate it. I tend to dig my heels in and hold on as hard as I can, especially when that change is not my idea. So when it was decided that this year the siblings and their spouses would draw names, I was less than thrilled. You see, part of the joy for me at Christmas is spending time picking out each person's gift (this coming from a girl who doesn't really like to shop) wrapping it with pretty paper and bows and ribbon and then watching them open it. Each gift gets a lot of thought, I want my family to know that I've been thinking of them over the holiday season.

I know that Christmas isn't about the gifts, it really is about spending time with your loved ones. But every other year I spend Christmas looking after other people's loved ones. I know I picked to be a nurse, I know that it is my calling. But just because it's my calling doesn't make having to work Christmas and missing out on Christmas dinner any easier, in fact I think it sometimes makes it more difficult. So the gift giving is how I cope at Christmas when I am unable to join in all the Christmas fun...it gives me something to look forward to, the shopping seriously gets me in the Christmas spirit (it's the only time of year I will purposely brave the crowds for).

But things change, and so they should. I have 4 brothers and sisters and hopefully we will all be paired up someday and that is a lot of gifts to buy. So, after I called my Nana, called my Dad and stomped around the kitchen a bit (okay a lot), I decided that I didn't have to like this new change. I am Brave Girl, so what was I going to do about it?

Which brought me to this idea.....When Patti and I were in our early teens we belonged to a girls youth group called Canadian Girls in Training (CGIT). Each year we would pool or raise money ( I vaguely remember a bake sale which was attended by one of the hottest boys in my 8th grade class) to pick an angel off the angel tree at the "old" mall and buy a gift for a boy or girl to place under the tree and then we went to McDonald's. For many years I have thought about picking an angel but have never done it. Yesterday while I was finishing up my Christmas shopping, I decided that I would do just that, kinda. The "new" mall doesn't have an angel tree and I don't eat at McDonald's but the "new" mall does have a tree for the toy drive so I decided to pick out a gift representing each sibling and in law that I would not be buying for and place it under the tree. I picked out a gift that I thought each one would have loved as a child. Lego for Ryan, design your own Barbie cloths for Patti, a ballerina Belle for Katie, a Teenage Mutant Ninja turtle for Dan and a ballerina baby doll for Jessie. And you know what, it felt good and it was fun. And I will do it again. This way I can still remember my siblings but then give their gifts to someone else. Honestly who needs more stuff anyway??? My siblings don't and I don't but those children do. They need to know that they were loved and remembered at Christmas and each gift I picked was filled with a whole lot of love. And that is what Christmas is all about.

Friday's Letters

Dear Winter: Okay, I know we have a love hate relationship but I would much rather have cold weather and snow than this damp gross kinda warm stuff we have been having. Decide to be Winter and be it.

Dear Rain: Any other time of the year I love you, oh how much I love you, but it's time to let your brother snow shine....please let him.

Dear outdoor planter: Please stop falling over! You don't fall over when you are full of soil and flowers, what do you have against Christmas lights, pine and birch?

Dear little girl in Lawson's book store: Your delight over the beautiful angels (even though you called them fairies) at the entrance of the store made my day. Thank you.

Dear employees at the Bleeding Carrot: Your conversation about how ugly you were as babies made me smile. :)

Dear Christmas presents I ordered online: Please make it here before Christmas.

Dear Alexis: Sorry you got your expressive face from me. It will mean that everyone will know what you are thinking ALL the time, especially your family. In my defence I got it from my Poppa!