Monday, July 22, 2013

A recurring dream.

          I have this recurring dream. In it, I'm standing on a covered porch. It is summer and it's rain - hard. The rain is accompanied by thunder and lightening. So much lightening that it lights up the whole sky. With me, is a little girl with strawberry blonde curls. She looks at me with her big blue eyes - the same eyes my sister Patti had as a little girl, the same eyes my niece Lexi has now. Her eyelashes so long other women will envy them someday. Freckles dot her nose. She smiles at me. She is 3 years old and she is mine.

            The screen door behind us creaks open.

            "What are you crazy girls doing?" a male voice asks. Without turning, I know that he is handsome.

            The little girl giggles, her damp curls bounce.

            "We are watching lightening Daddy. Me and Momma love thunderstorms."

            "Come inside you goofs," He laughs, a laugh so deep that if I laid my head on his chest I would feel it resonate there. "I'll make hot chocolate."

            We turn to him and he lifts the little girl into his arms, much to her delight. She is as smitten with this man as I am. I can't see his face except for the outline of a wickedly sexy grin. Even after years, this man still makes me melt. This is my family, this is my home. Just as he leans to kiss me, I wake up.

            I hope this is a vision of the future and not just my mind playing a cruel trick on me. Of all the prayers I have prayed, this is my most solemn. More than anything in the world, this is what I want. It is buried so deep in my heart, I can't imagine it not coming true. Right now all I can do it wait, turn it over to God and when the time is right, it will happen. I believe this with all my heart. I don't really have any other choice.