Monday, July 22, 2013

A recurring dream.

          I have this recurring dream. In it, I'm standing on a covered porch. It is summer and it's rain - hard. The rain is accompanied by thunder and lightening. So much lightening that it lights up the whole sky. With me, is a little girl with strawberry blonde curls. She looks at me with her big blue eyes - the same eyes my sister Patti had as a little girl, the same eyes my niece Lexi has now. Her eyelashes so long other women will envy them someday. Freckles dot her nose. She smiles at me. She is 3 years old and she is mine.

            The screen door behind us creaks open.

            "What are you crazy girls doing?" a male voice asks. Without turning, I know that he is handsome.

            The little girl giggles, her damp curls bounce.

            "We are watching lightening Daddy. Me and Momma love thunderstorms."

            "Come inside you goofs," He laughs, a laugh so deep that if I laid my head on his chest I would feel it resonate there. "I'll make hot chocolate."

            We turn to him and he lifts the little girl into his arms, much to her delight. She is as smitten with this man as I am. I can't see his face except for the outline of a wickedly sexy grin. Even after years, this man still makes me melt. This is my family, this is my home. Just as he leans to kiss me, I wake up.

            I hope this is a vision of the future and not just my mind playing a cruel trick on me. Of all the prayers I have prayed, this is my most solemn. More than anything in the world, this is what I want. It is buried so deep in my heart, I can't imagine it not coming true. Right now all I can do it wait, turn it over to God and when the time is right, it will happen. I believe this with all my heart. I don't really have any other choice.

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Pet Peeve

Hi Everyone!!
Yesterday I decided to play along with Sue and Canadian Scrapbooker on their Leave Your Legacy challenge. Their topic; Pet Peeves. I made this page about a huge pet peeve of mine. I hate it when people doodle on magazines...I'm not sure where this pet peeve comes from but it drives me nuts, just ask my brothers and sisters and don't you dare touch my TV Guide!
Thanks for stopping by!

Friday, May 31, 2013

Friday's Letter - What I'm thinking about this week.

Playing along with Ashley this week, here's what's been on my mine for the last couple weeks.
Dear GH: I hated the Franco story the first time and the second time, now you want to bring it back with a new face?? You couldn't have found a better use for Roger Howarth??
Dear hair: Have a told you how awesome you are lately?? You are so beautiful and usually do want I want. I'm so lucky.
Dear knot in the middle of my back near my shoulder blade: You have been camped out there for FIVE weeks, get lost. I'm sorry I can't help you out but I can't reach, you are going to have to move on, on your own.
Dear Bridesmaid dress: I'll be honest, I wasn't 100% sure about you when we picked you out but the other girls thought it was a good pick. Now that I have you in the right colour and the right size, I love you. I am going to look like a goddess!
Dear Night Shifts: I've got three of you this weekend....please be kind.
Dear green kitchen: Wow are you ever green but once the tile is up you are going to look amazing!
Dear blue grey living room: I am so in love with you right now, you look like a completely different room! So bright and fresh and just what I needed. I also love my art gallery wall.
Dear yoga: You are about the only time I feel graceful, so thanks for that. :)
Dear Grace: I haven't played you in awhile and I think it's time we spent some quality time together looking cool, even if we sound terrible. Next week I promise!
Dear Dad: You really are the best Dad up your weekend to paint and tile for me. Bet you'll be glad when you finally marry me off! HA just joking! kinda
Dear Dan: Thanks for playing some MMMBOP at your buck and doe, it might have made my night.
Dear Lexi: Spending part of mothers day with my best goddaughter was amazing. I love you soooo sooo very much!
Dear One Tree Hill: One word; CHUCK! I've been re-watching your wonderfulness and just have to say that Chuck kills me. He kinda annoyed me the first time around but this time he is positively hilarious. He is the quirky humour that I love so much. What the Chuck? 
That's what's going on in my life right now. Thanks for stopping by!

Monday, April 1, 2013

32 things

So, today I turn 32. Since I not 100% where I thought I would be when I was 32 (but who really is right?), I have made the commitment to focus on all the good and beautiful blessings in  my life. And all the wonderful and exciting things I have to look forward to. So here is my list of 32 for 32 of hopes and dreams and goals and all the stuff I'm going to enjoy the year I am 32.

1) As soon as the weather is nice a new friend and I are going to go for a drive in my convertible with the top down.

2) My sister Patti and her husband were more than generous to give me a gift certificate to the Brave Girls Shoppe so I am looking forward to picking out my gift...the problem will be picking out just one!

3) Find a pair of cowboy boots I love.

4) A trip to Aberfoyle market, to look for a storage solution for all my craft and art supplies.

5) Be a punk at my brother Dan's Buck and Doe.

6) Two bridal showers for my new sister in law Jessie.

7) A rambunctious bachelorette party for Jessie (provided I can get the weekend off).

8) Horse back riding with the girls from work.

9) 4X8 a study the minister at our church if putting on to ask questions about Christianity. I'm really looking forward to learn more about my own faith.

10) A solo trip to Manitoulin Island.

11) While there stay at The Meldrum Bay Inn a place I have wanted to stay in since my Nana and Poppa first took me to Manitoulin many many years ago.

12) Also stay at my first hostel, Auberge Inn.

13) Take some tours and do some activities with Great Spirit Circle Trail.

14) Farquhar's ice cream.

15) Cry at my brothers wedding.

16) Dance with my siblings and cousins at my brother's wedding.

17) Have Lexi over for a sleepover.

18) Spend some time getting to know some one new.

19) Supernatural with Timbo!

20) Learn Brian Littrell's Wish on guitar in time for Easter next year.

21) Create beautiful things

22) Scrap my heart out.

23) Brave Girls Camp!!!!!

24) Drive to and from Idaho solo.

25) Continue my palliative care studies.

26) Cook a turkey or a roast.

27) Beach road trips.

28) Take an art class.

29) A tea party with my Aunt Kate and my Nana to sort and date all my Nana's old photos.

30) Learn

31) Laugh, sing, dance, giggle, cry, kiss, hug, smile, create ...Be Brave!

32) Sparkle and shine, like the girl GOD intended me to be.

I am so excited to see what this year has in store for me...I think it is going to be amazing!!

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

The work of evil.

Evil exists, it is at work in our society and in our lives everyday. Don't believe me? Open your eyes wide and look around. There are the obvious signs of evil, murder, rape, etc. and as we get closer to Holy Week, I am flooded with a memory. I am standing alone in a former residence in the main square of Malaga Spain and I am crying my heart out, literally weeping. I am in the centre of a traveling exhibition  about the holy shroud of Turin and the nice British lady in my listening device has just explained to me the abuse and torture Jesus suffered at the hands of others, in great detail. I now have a clear image in my mind of what being crucified actually means. Laying in a glass casket(for lack of a better word) is a full scale anatomically correct sculpture of the body of Christ. Every bruise and every injury present, every broken bone. There is hardly an inch of Him that has not been harmed. And HIS face, HIS poor beautiful face, is an image I wont soon forget.   

But evil is at work in much more subtle ways, in addiction, depression, cancer, bullying, anxiety and even sibling rivalry. During this Lenten period, I have been taking part in a Lenten study that consists of daily devotionals. We are using this book; Diving Deeply edited by Betty Lynn Schwab. One of the days last week spoke on evil, the more subtle. And we discussed it at length, when we met this week. It got me to thinking of a patient, I had a few years ago. I can't remember what we had him for or if he was even a surgical patient, but that really doesn't matter. The fact is he was a young man (late twenties), attractive, nice and he was completely addicted to pills and his life was a mess. And my thoughts about him were this; "What a waste, what a fricken waste." I know I was not the only one who saw this young man this way. After that gentle reminder that evil is everywhere, I look at him in a different way. I don't see "a waste," I see evil at work. Truth is I didn't know his life, what struggles lead him to the path he was on. And while I do believe that everyone needs to take responsibility for the path they heading down, that doesn't mean they don't deserve to be treated with compassion while they struggle and often fail. Compassion is GODs work at its finest and yet we give it all too infrequently. Judging is easier than looking evil in the face.

Evil is hard to talk about. We don't do it much, not as Christians, not as humans and defiantly not as nurses. It is so much easier to blame the person for their failings, sometimes we forget that no one is perfect, often people blame GOD for the bad things that happen. I often hear myself say "GOD didn't do that, people did." When actually evil did. It's easier than facing the truth...evil is out there and no one is immune, not you, not me. Scary right?

We've all faced our demons, we have all had our struggles, some more than others. I have been fortunate to have a live where the forces of good are so much stronger than those of evil. Yes, I've had my heartbroken in many pieces and I've been bullied and I've been touched by cancer but evil did not win. I'm sure that evil is lurking outside my bedroom window right now but since I'm usually oblivious to any male attention I might be getting, I don't notice him. And I need to and I need to tell him to get lost. The best way I can think of to do that is the Brave Girl way, come to think of it, the Jesus way; Treat everyone, including myself (especially myself) with Kindness and Compassion. Everyone deserves it because no one is perfect. What did Jesus say; "Let those without sin among you case the first stone." John 8:7

Friday, March 1, 2013

Friday's Letters - TV Edition

Dear Murdoch Mysteries - I have to confess that Det. William Murdoch is one handsome man but I have a soft spot for awkward cutie Con George Crabtree. I really hope that he gets the girl. 
Dear Vampire Diaries gang - I can't believe you continued to look for the cure, even when you knew there was only enough for one dose. It got Jeremy killed, you selfish little brats. And Bonnie must be the most dimwitted witch on the planet, no the universe, to think that there will not be any repercussions in bring back the's not natural and I'm pretty sure Gram would agree. I'm also pretty sure that Kol was right in not wanting to bring back Silas..again you selfish little jerks.
Dear Julie Marie Berman - I'm going to miss you on GH. But I think you are very brave to leave a good paying gig playing the daughter of super couple Luke and Laura and one half of the famed Lante pairing. Good luck in everything you do, and I hope to see your talented self across my screen once again.
Dear Prospect Ave - I think you guys are jerks for making John McBain, Todd Manning and Starr Manning leave GH. They were fitting into the show nicely. And I'm pretty sure you can't give Todd Manning the best lines on Television like GH can.
Dear Beauty and the Beast, Chicago Fire and CRACKED - I hate new girls, they always have a way of ruining things.  Alex claimed to love Vincent but when she found out what he was all she wanted to do was study him. Clarice left her husband to be with Shay, made Shay fall in love with her baby and then broke Shay's heart...again. And Detective what's her name..stay away from Aiden.
Dear Heartland - I see you are going the new girl route as well......I hope it's worth it.
Dear Gabe Hogan - You did a wonderful job playing a brain damaged ex-hockey player on CRACKED this week...Way to go!

Dear Nick Fallon - You use to be a much more sympathetic character, even when you did questionable things, like that thing with Willow Stark, or when you stalked Melanie, or when you let Melanie believe that she had killed her father, or when you almost let Mrs. Brady take the wrap for that. Then you went to jail and then you came back as a major dick. I know something happened to you there but that's not Will's fault. His baby has the right to know him, he's not perfect and has done some questionable things himself - shooting EJ in the head for one but his Dad paid for that crime. And I might remind you that Gabby isn't perfect either...she practically stalked Melanie too and almost got her killed. And if you weren't being such a jerk, I'd tell you that even you deserve much better than Gabby. Whatever it was that happened in jail, get some help and then move on.

Dear Castle - You never fail to disappoint....I love the reveal of who Castle's father is. Best line of this weeks esp "He's no Liam Nieson." "He's no Ashley Judd either. "

Friday, February 8, 2013

Tomorrow - Creative Scrappers 246

Good morning all,
So it's been awhile since I played along with a scrapbooking blog but this weeks sketch from Creative Scrappers really worked for me.

I flipped it and only used one photo. Last week in church we talked about tomorrows and how only GOD knows what tomorrow will bring and we need to have faith that we will be looked after. It's wasteful to worry about tomorrow, when you don't have much control over it. This is something I need to remember, as I worry a lot. This page is going in my faithbook as a reminder.

We are getting hit hard with snow again...hope everyone is keeping safe!

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Paul the Blessing Pig

Hi Guys!
So I'm not doing resolutions this year, kinda. This year I am going to count my blessings, be thankful for all that I do have and not focus on what I don't. And I'm here to tell you how I plan to do that.
One of my favourite bloggers Courtney Walsh is teaching another class with Big Picture Classes this year called Home Blessings. The idea of this course is to use crafty ideas to put your blessings on display in your home. The first week Courtney showed us her "blessing bird", a ceramic bird, she had covered with blessings. Because I'm cheap, I headed down to my local Sally Ann. There, I found a ceramic piggy bank. It wasn't actually what I wanted but the more I walked around store, the more I came back to this pig. As I was driving home I came up with this great idea, I could fill the pig with my blessings and at the end of the year I could empty the pig and see all the wonderful blessings I have. The final product is Paul the Blessing Pig. I don't know why his name is Paul, it just is.

Isn't he cute? Now just to find a place to put him so I can fill him up!