Thursday, January 2, 2014

2013 a year in review.

I remember how hopeful I felt at the beginning of last year. I was going to spend the year counting my blessings, my word for the year was going to be SPARKLE. I really felt like this was it, I was finally the girl GOD intended me to be and since I was that girl now then that guaranteed me my most wished for wish, the beginnings of a family of my own. But GOD had other plans for me this year, some of those plans, I have no idea what he was thinking, but some of those plans were truly amazing.

I did spend the first part of the year counting my blessings; my siblings, my parents, my Nana, my Grandma, my cousins, my friends, music, books, the Backstreet Boys, hot chocolate,first kisses in the snow. I decided to take some palliative care/oncology courses ( I completed 3). Brave Girls offered an art class online, so I participated in that. My niece learned how to say my name. My book club had some great discussions. I was dating!

Then I started to fall for a guy whom never intended to fall for me. Actually that's not really a fair statement, the truth is we weren't on the same page. He wanted something that I wasn't prepared to give and I wanted something that he was not even close to being ready to give to ANYONE. He saw that a little sooner than me, which meant that I got rejected and felt defeated. Soon things that I was capable of doing, like cutting the grass, living alone, cooking for one, felt like big huge deals. Was there something wrong with me?? I asked myself and my mom, on more than one occasion. To say that this coloured huge chunks of my year, would be an understatement. It would mean that I would have to go to my brother's wedding alone and that made me really sad. It would mean no slow dancing at that wedding either. It would mean no one to travel with. It would mean that no one would see me for who I REALLY was. It hurt a lot and it still stings just a bit, if I think about it for too long. This is the part of GODS plan that I can't see why it even happen yet. Someday soon I hope I will.

But I did what a Brave Girl does and I did it anyway. I worked on my art, I worked on my courses, I went to bridal showers, I planned trips, I cooked meals, went to yoga, cut the grass, went to work, got out of bed, smiled, shopped, crafted, sang, went to church and hugged even though my heart wasn't always in it. My new word became FORTATUDE.

I did have to go to my brother Dan's wedding alone but I got to walk down the aisle with my fave person, my niece Lexi, because she didn't want to walk with anyone else. I got to slow dance with my brother Tim and Lexi to Kenny Rogers "The Gambler."

I got to spend the summer with my brother Tim b/c he came home from school to work at the marina even though that wasn't in his plan but I'm so happy he did.

I participated in GISHWHES with an old friend. Toast for underwear, is very uncomfortable, in case you wanted to know. :)

I went on an amazing solo trip to my happy place, Manitoulin Island. I was so at peace there. I learned First Nations crafts, made bannock, spent a lovely evening talking with a woman who feeds herself and her partner all year from her garden, stayed at Meldrum Bay Inn (a place I have wanted to stay in since I was a little girl), swam, read, explored every Island Museum and talk to lots and lots of people. It is not something I will soon forget.

I made a new friend and we stayed friends even after I puked all over her car on our first short road trip.

I joined a new choir in town and sang my heart out!

I am learning self care and have discovered podcasts.

I travelled 3536km to Idaho for Brave Girls camp, all by myself. I saw snow in Wyoming, a huge Lincoln head, visited a Holocaust Museum, stopped in to see some Mormons, learned a lot about how the west was settled, visited the largest truck stop in the world, spent a morning in small town USA, went to an aviation museum and so much more. And when I arrived in Boise my Brave Girl sisters were waiting for me. And they SAW me for who I really am. I was so loved on and continue to get loved on my them. The BGC staff and the women that I feel so blessed to have met, have changed my life. I miss them everyday. It was okay that I cried. They loved that I was the first to meals just because I was happy not to have had to cook it myself.  They loved my rendition of "If I had a million dollars." They hugged me. They cried with me, as I cried with them. I was meant to be there, even if I had to make that journey alone. And I can't wait to go back!!

I went to hear my fave author Ted Dekker speak and then I talked to him! I flirted a little with the band who opened for him.

I started my Arbonne business. I get to work with my cousin's wife. We get to do facials for people and talk about a fantastic product. For me it's not about the money at all but for the new friendships I have made. I always thought I didn't make friends easily but that's not true at all. I can't wait to meet all the people that Arbonne will put in my path. We are going to have so much fun!!

This year my word is TRUST. Trust that I'll be okay. Trust myself. Trust that GOD has a wonderfully fantastic plan for me. Trust that guys wont always break my heart, b/c one day one wont. Trust that he will show up when the time is right. Trust that someday I will have a family of my own. Trust that whatever I want to do, I can. Trust.

Happy New Year!!


  1. This made me cry! You are such an incredible, beautiful, kind and loving soul. I am so glad I got to spend a week in Idaho with you. I love that your word this year is TRUST. I'm in awe of all that you did in the past year, you are absolutely a Brave Girl and always will be. I trust that you will have all of you dreams come true because I know your heart and you deserve it. I love your cottage home, so perfect. Anytime you want to come and visit me you are so very welcome! We have lots of Canadians here during the winter, in fact most of my neighbors are! Sending you so much love, Christa, and also trusting that you are creating the life you dream of. Create if my word this year! Love you, Brave Sister XOXO

  2. I loved meeting you in Idaho, it was such a huge honor and I just want to tell you a couple things...1 you are beautiful, inside and out and if someone doesn't come along to recognize that, you will still be beautiful. When I was young I wanted nothing more than to find a great guy and have a beautiful family. Life didn't turn out that way for me, but my journey has been incredible anyway, look for the gifts and blessings everyday, they are there and will only enhance your beauty. 2 whatever happens, make it the very best experience, find the joy and be ok with who you are. You have an inner light that shines very brightly, you will always be ok and you will always be blessed. It has taken me all my life (at least 53 years of it) to find someone truly remarkable and who truly loves and cherishes me. Don't give up, God is driving the bus, just hang on for the ride! Much love to you in 2014, you are an incredibly beautiful soul worthy of a life UNCOMMON!

  3. This is so beautiful Christa! You are such an amazing and strong woman and I admire you so much! You are going after what you want and not just in your career. I didn't learn that lesson for many years and didn't fully learn it until I could no longer work. Build a life for yourself and everything will fall in place for you. Love you so much!

  4. Hi there. I often come by to read your blog when I see you have posted (on Facebook). It is a challenge to keep oneself sane through life with the ups and downs we all face :) After reading your post today I will leave you with a quote that has worked well for me. "Do not wait for life to happen to you, take control and make it happen for yourself." :D


  5. You are so so so loved dearest Christa...I miss your "million dollar" smile and your beautiful Soul! I do think of you daily...and so truly want to see you again----I will be in Idaho in February for Soul Comfort Retreat...will send you love and joy and a huge amount of FAITH from BG Art Barn!!! Stay at Peace...